What a Difference a Week Makes!

Sorry for the delay on posting. Our lives have changed quite a bit in the last few days to say the least. We have about 5,000 pictures to share and a baby who doesn't care that he has a Type A Mommy with an agenda. It has been a very humbling past few days! Sawyer's first pediatrician appointment is tomorrow. We are diligently recording each poot, grunt, sigh, and bowel movement to prepare.

To say that this post contains a cervix alert is an understatement. I thought that I would torture the readers with my birth story and then have some wonderful pictures at the end. When we last left off I had been given Cervidil and an Ambien. The Ambien was lost on me; I might as well have given it to Lorne because I didn't sleep a wink! Gale was our first nurse and she left at 7:00 and I wasn't sorry to see her go. She was very negative and kept telling us how much our lives would change, like we weren't aware of that while we were hanging out in a labor and delivery room. My next nurse Wendy was wonderful, however. She had an accent that was either English or Australian, we're not quite sure. I started feeling contractions around 10:00. They became painful around midnight. I was not aware that there were going to BE any contractions that night. I was under the impression that we were going to get to play cards and games and read magazines while my cervix was ripening. Boy was I wrong! Unfortunately this was right about the time that Wendy got an admission and I never saw her again. Hope and Stephanie checked on me during the night but I missed the calmness of Wendy. Lorne will never forget Stephanie because she brought him a stool. He had been standing by my bedside pretty much the entire night up to this point. She was also the one who helped me breathe through the tougher contractions, but I am getting ahead of myself. I began to ask about pain medication in the early morning hours. I was given the options of Demerol and Nubain. I had no idea what Nubain was, but I was told that it was not as strong as the Demerol. I knew going in that I did not want any narcotics because I was afraid of what it would do to Sawyer. However, at this point I was feeling desperate. I was told that I would be given half of a dose (5 mg), and that it would be out of my system in time for the birth. They told me that it would be the quickest I had ever gotten drunk and they were right. I could tell that I was having contractions, but they were like an out of body experience. Lorne tried to give me ice chips and I couldn't catch them and I wanted my lip balm but couldn't find my lips.

At 5:00 the Cervidil was removed because it had actually put me into labor. No Pitocin was needed. Dr. Watts later told me that the percentage of this times this happens is little to none. The Pitocin is usually needed shortly afterwards to jump-start labor. Nam's shift began at 7:00 and she was my angel who would later become something else, but I am getting ahead of myself again. I was at 4-5 cm at the beginning of her shift and others wanted me to have more Nubain. She insisted that I be given the epidural right then and not waste time with more Nubain. Those words were music to my ears! At 7:30 I was given an epidural. After the contractions I had been feeling this just felt like I was given three flu shots in a row: no big deal. I had hyped it up so much in my mind that I decided that my imagination had conjured up something that could never actually be as horrible as I had decided. Dr. Watts came at 9:00 and broke my water. She said that I had so much amniotic fluid that it was impossible for Sawyer to drop so that question was answered. He quickly began his descent into the birthing canal. I began to progress and when I was at 6 cm my left side began to cramp. The anesthesiologist was called in and discovered that the epidural wasn't attached to the tube and it was actually running down my back in bed. It was interesting to me to find out that I had been tolerating contractions at 6 cm because I thought that I had the pain medication to get me through it. I felt instant relief! The labor continued to progress from there at a pretty steady rate of 1 cm/hour. Then for some reason I got stuck at 9 cm. It took three hours for me to get there after measuring 8 cm. Courtney and Melissa called about this time and told me that they were on their way. Court told me to cross my legs and keep the baby inside as long as possible. I told her that I would do my best! :) Around 11:30 Nam came and told me that Dr. Watts was delivering another baby at Medical Center of Plano. This is ironic because this is where her office is and I actually chose Presbyterian even though she is closer to Medical Center. I chose Presbyterian due to their lactation program among other factors. All that I could do at this point was wait. Nam came in about 12:30 and told me that I was still at 9 cm and that she would call Dr. Watts and suggest Pitocin. This is where Nam was no longer my angel. We will never know what happened once the Pitocin was ordered, but the next thing I knew an oxygen mask was being put over my face and the bed was being pushed back and up toward the ceiling. Ten nurses were running into the room and putting on blue gloves and speaking in jargon that I could not understand. My legs were placed in the stirrups. A silver-haired gentleman, whom I would later learn was Dr. Herzog, the only doctor on the floor, was wearing a mask and came in saying that we were going to get this baby out one way or another, even if that meant surgery. All that I could do was stare wide-eyed at Lorne and see that same look mirrored back at me. I could not catch my breath and no amount of pushing on the epidural pump was going to make my pain dissipate. I was quickly told to start pushing and I pushed for five minutes at the most. Sawyer was born soon after at 1:15 but someone lied to me because it wasn't like it is on TV. He wasn't laid on my chest so that I could count his fingers and toes. Lorne wasn't asked if he wanted to cut the cord and no one asked for the baby book so that they could stamp his footprints. He was rushed to the warmer and was given an oxygen mask much like mine. They were suctioning out his throat because he had swallowed so much of my amniotic fluid so his cries took longer than most newborns. He was swaddled and handed to Lorne for about two seconds. They quickly grabbed him and left the room. Lorne was told that he could go with them if he wanted. The ten nurses were gone just as quickly as they had come. I was left by myself wondering the fate of our little boy who up to this point had a perfect heart rate and was responding well even with my medical interventions. When Dr. Watts arrived she told me that his heart rate had dropped unexpectedly when the Pitocin was administered and that he had to be delivered immediately. She told me that he was going to be placed in what was called the short-stay nursery because he was taking longer to transition to life outside the womb compared to other newborns. All I knew was what Lorne was telling me as he was going back and forth from the nursery to my labor and delivery room showing me pictures he had taken of our baby boy. I was in this room until 4:00. I had a tear in my cervix, vaginal wall, and a second degree perineal tear. The vaginal wall tear was due to his head being sideways and Dr. Herzog having to manipulate his head around the correct direction. The second degree tear was probably a result of the vacuum extraction which I did not even know had taken place. On the way to the fourth floor recovery room I was wheeled into the nursery and allowed to touch Sawyer under his oxygen hood. He was given 27% oxygen and was under the hood until 9:00 that night. He looked so tiny and my heart was breaking because I wanted to hold him and inspect him and make sure he was all right. I cried during the entire ride to the fourth floor. Not only was I not able to hold my baby, I couldn't even be on the same floor because they were booked. Stephanie was my nurse when I arrived and she brought me a box of Kleenex and reassured me that he was being given excellent care. She told me that I had to stay in bed and could not move around unassisted. She told me that I had to use the restroom three times by 9:30 but I didn't really hear her. My heart was still downstairs with Sawyer. I really wasn't interested in using the restroom until the next nurse Debbie came on shift. She told me that if I used the restroom I could go down to the nursery. To say this motivated me would be an understatement. In the meantime the nursery called and told me they were sending me a breast pump so that I could pump some colostrum. Sawyer's glucose levels were such that they had not had to feed him, but if they needed to they were going to use a feeding tube. My colostrum would be part of this feeding. Lorne came in when I was strapped to the pump producing no colostrum. I told him that I didn't know how much more I could take. We took the 1/4 teaspoon of colostrum I had collected and walked to the nursery. I insisted that I be able to walk because the wheelchair was the last place I wanted to be. I had to see my son and I didn't have time to wait for a wheelchair. The grandparents, Courtney, Melissa, Laura, Rick, and Priscilla were watching from the other side of the nursery window as our first family photo was taken. It was a long time coming and an emotional time to say the least. My sweet baby boy was finally in my arms. I couldn't stop thinking that for forty weeks and three days I had nourished him and kept him safe but he was in the care of the doctors and nurses now. I felt totally helpless and scared, but was reassured when the nurse told us that he would more than likely be moved to the regular nursery by morning. We were so ecstatic when we were called at midnight and told he could be brought to our room. We'd waited for so long to hold him as long as we wanted that it almost seemed too good to be true. We did send him back to the nursery after attempting to nurse because to say we were exhausted would be an understatement. We had some great nursery nurses and lactation consultants during our time at Presby. They taught us so much about breastfeeding in a short time.

Friday morning the grandparents came and held Sawyer for the first time. It was quite a sight. Lorne snapped lots of pictures as everyone passed him around. I told them that I was going to set an egg timer so that they would share him. Courtney, Melissa, and Laura also returned to hold him. Sawyer's pictures were taken by a company called Growing Family that morning. As soon as they are posted I will add them to the website. All I will tell you is that he is too cute for words! I attended a lactation class on Friday afternoon that was very helpful. Lorne's co-workers came and visited after work on Friday. Denise also came by Friday afternoon and spent some time with us. Conrad and Judi came by during a feeding so they didn't get to see Sawyer but said that they would come by the house in a few weeks. Matthew and Jackie came to visit Friday night. We had such a great day with so many visitors!

We had heard that check-out was at 11:00 so we were expecting to begin the discharge process early. We were informed that Dr. Watts would perform the circumcision at 11:30 and that we would get him shortly thereafter. He would have to be monitored for an hour and then would be released. Sawyer's pediatrician Dr. Darrow came by and talked with us. She said Sawyer seemed fine and asked us to schedule an appointment for Tuesday. Mom, Dad, Matthew, and Jackie came to help us load for the first car ride home. I was very nervous about having our little boy in the car but Lorne did just fine. We got home about 3:00 and it was very surreal. We had gotten flowers from the Largents and the grandparents. I knew that I was home but I also knew that home would never be the same now that we had little Sawyer Blake.

Larry and Velma left Sunday morning and Matthew and Jackie stayed until that afternoon. The Largents came over to hold the little man and so did Laura and Christopher. I think Christopher was a little jealous of his mom holding another little boy.

Today we have been getting used to each other and trying to establish a routine of sorts. Mom went to Babies R Us to buy some preemie gowns because the 0-3 months ones are too big. Dad and Lorne barbecued a brisket. I've been working on getting better at nursing and trying to blog when I get the chance. It won't take as long to do a day at a time from now on more than likely.

Okay, I've made you wait long enough. Here are some pictures of the little man. Sorry that they are in reverse order. I will try to clean up the site ASAP:


Naptime