I Spoke Too Soon...As Usual

I'm sure most readers have come to this site with the hope of seeing lots and lots of pictures from our busy weekend, but that will unfortunately have to wait. We've hit another speed bump on the breastfeeding road. This post will not be upbeat like my other ones, but I am feeling really, really low right now.

Everything was going so well this weekend. Lorne fed Sawyer two bottles Friday on the ride down and I pumped once we got back on the road each time. It's important for my supply that I keep up with pumping any time that he gets a bottle. Saturday I did the same thing. He got two bottles while we were at Tammy's and I pumped both times. We went to Matthew and Jackie's after that and Sawyer was asleep so we didn't wake him to feed him and he ate when we got back to Van Vleck, over four hours later. Sunday I nursed him at 8:45 before we left for church. Lorne fed him a bottle at 11:00 right before his baptism to tide him over. I didn't have my pump with me and there wasn't really time so I just figured that I'd pump when we got back to the house. It ended up being 1:15 by the time I pumped and I was so engorged that I pumped four ounces, a full ounce more than I have ever pumped. I was excited at the time but later found out that it wasn't a good thing at all. I nursed him for the rest of the day as usual. I always pump between 11-12 and Lorne gives him a bottle. I usually get three ounces. I knew something was terribly wrong when I only got about a fourth of a ounce from the left side. I also pump once in the morning after a feeding on a "normal" day, but we were getting ready to leave so I didn't pump until we were on the road and Sawyer had gotten his first of two bottles. I got even less from that side on those two pumpings. The milk didn't even cover the bottom of the bottle. I started to panic.

I called A Mother's Gift early yesterday morning but Candy was off so I spoke with Hayley. She told me to apply a warm compress before nursing, pump that side for five minutes afterward, and give a supplement if I thought he was still hungry. He seemed to be so I gave him an ounce two different times. She told me that my supply should return by Thursday. He slept for three hour stretches throughout the night and I nursed as usual.

I called again this morning in the hopes that Candy had returned. I left three messages and hadn't heard back from anyone so I went there. I had tears in my eyes when I saw Candy at the counter. I was so happy to see her! She listened intently as I told her about the last few days. She said she thought it wasn't a clogged duct which is what I thought but that my body must have thought I was wanting to wean so it dramatically slowed production.

The good news is that he weighs nine pounds now! The bad news is that he only got a fourth of a ounce from the left side and an ounce from the right when I nursed him. He needs 2.5 ounces to flourish. That means we're back to nursing, pumping, and a supplement from the bottle. How am I supposed to do this all by myself? Not to mention when I pump little to nothing comes out and that is terrifying. I'm having to use the milk in the freezer. I'm just lucky that there is some there otherwise we'd have to go to formula. The neat thing about the weekend is that I never had to go to the freezer for any of his bottles. I just used what I had pumped. It's impossible to do that now.

Candy sold me Fenugreek and Blessed Thissle herbs to take three times a day. I'm also pumping BOTH sides again. The herbs are supposed to jump-start my supply by Friday so we're going back Friday afternoon to nurse and have him weighed again. Candy said that it is very important that I not stress, and anyone who knows me knows that I am ALWAYS stressing over something. I think that this weekend was part of the problem. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every moment, but I was so worried about Saywer the entire time and wanting him to eat as soon as possible. That's just much easier to do when we're at home. Candy said that apparently my body is just really sensitive to big changes in the feeding schedule which is frustrating because we're supposed to get to the point where he goes four hours without feeding. Will that affect my supply too? I guess we'll just have to see.

Needless to say it will probably be the weekend before I get any pictures posted. I would welcome any prayers that you all have for us. I don't think that I have ever prayed for anything more in my life. I never realized how much I enjoy breastfeeding until I started thinking about the thought that it might be coming to an end.

We Must Be Doing Something Right!

We got more good news today! Sawyer weighs 8 lbs 11 ozs!! I couldn't be happier! He gained twelve ounces in nine days! He's ahead of the curve which is 1/2 to one ounce per day so that's great. Candy the lactation consultant looked it up and according to his birth weight and his age he SHOULD weigh nine pounds so we're just five ounces behind schedule which is still okay. That's not too bad considering the fact that he weighed only six pounds when he was thirteen days old.

I also got a clean bill of health at my postpartum appointment today. I knew that I was healed, but it's good to hear from my doctor that everything is A-okay. She also told me that I could return to Curves. She said that I just have to be sure to stay well hydrated while exercising. I asked her about Weight Watchers and she told me to wait until I started to wean Sawyer. I wondered about that so I asked Candy and she said that I could go and it would be fine. She said that it would be okay, especially since WW has a specific program for breastfeeding mothers. It CAN affect the milk supply if enough calories aren't consumed, but I have never had that problem and I don't plan to start now. The idea of waiting for few more months or up to a year to return to WW is scary. I need to get back and have that structure in my life again.

I didn't get a nap this evening. :( It's my own fault though. I've been running around like a crazy woman trying to get everything packed and in order for this weekend. My mind usually races while I'm here alone during the day. I keep thinking about what I need to do or something else to add to the list.

I am so excited to bring the little man to Van Vleck. I am so happy to have him and I love him so much!! It's going to be fun to be able to share that with others!

Time Flies...

when you're nusing every two hours! That's how its been these past couple of days. We've had a pretty busy couple of days here at Wylie Baby Central. Larry and Velma got here Friday afternoon. Lorne bought some T-bones on the way home and barbecued them for dinner. They were excellent!


Sawyer at five weeks. My sacreligious husband said I should title this "Second Coming."


This came out a little blurry because Sawyer kept moving around, but I had to post it because it's too cute!


I thought this picture was sweet with Sawyer's little hand holding Poppa's big one.

Saturday morning we left around 7:30 for Wichita Falls for Ashley's wedding. We made really good time so we stopped for breakfast at IHOP. Sawyer did really well on the drive there and slept the entire time. I had fed him right before we left so Velma fed him a bottle while we were at IHOP. I pumped on the way to Uncle Lester and Aunt Mary's house so that I could keep up my supply. Lorne was the Best Man so he tried on his tux and then I drove him to the church so that I would know where it was. I came back to the house and Velma and I hung out there until it was closer to the wedding. I fed Sawyer before we left, but he was still crying as soon as we got to the church. He had a wet diaper so I thought we were home free, but he started to cry again once we got into the sanctuary so I stuffed the pacifier into his mouth as quickly as I could and that worked wonders. Any thoughts of hating the pacifier were gone for that moment. He was out like a light for the remainder of the service.


Lorne with the bride and groom and Maid of Honor Erin.


Lorne served as the Best Man.

It was on to the Holiday Inn after pictures. I had hoped that the restroom had a sitting room of sorts so that I could feed him there but they didn't. I asked at the front desk and was told that there was such an area on the third floor. I went to check it out and it was there all right, but I would have been in the wide open in front of God and everybody so I decided that wasn't for me. I returned to the desk and asked if I could use the bar area that wasn't open yet but she told me that she couldn't let me do that. So, long story short, Velma fed him another bottle and I went out to the Tahoe to pump. When I returned Velma said that there had been two announcements about a red SUV with their lights on. The daytime running lights automatically come on when you turn on the Tahoe and I obviously needed it on for the AC and to plug in my pump. Luckily no one came closer to investigate!

We had fun at the wedding. The flowers were beautiful. The dinner was really good and the wedding cake was excellent. I actually ate all three pieces that Aunt Mary sent home with us (August 3rd can't come quickly enough). That's when I return to Weight Watchers by the way. Lorne did a great job on his toast and the bride was beautiful.


Lorne gave a great toast to Ashley and Erik.


Ashley's gown was so beautiful!


CHEEEESE!


This was Sawyer's first wedding when he wasn't inutero. :)


Our first dance as a family.


Sawyer dancing with his mommy. I can't wait to teach Sawyer to dance so that I can lead him like I lead my husband, dad, and brothers! :)

I think that we would have stayed longer if we hadn't had Sawyer, but we left around 6:30 after Velma gave him another bottle. I pumped on the way home. I was worried about him having so much breastmilk in a bottle (3 ozs each time), but he nursed well once we got home much to my relief.

I tried to nap on the way home, but I was in the middle seat next to Sawyer and I awoke with each little sound he made, and he made lots! We had to stop twice on the way home to change wet diapers, but other than that he did really well again. It's 2 1/2 hours one way, so there and back almost equals the amount of time it will take to get to Van Vleck on Friday.

I think that I did a good job of packing everything that he needed. I actually packed more clothes than he needed, but I'd rather have too much than not enough. I'll pack just as much if not more for Van Vleck because the last thing that I want to do is run out while we're out and about.

Kristy and Caroline came by for a visit on Monday. I felt really bad because Sawyer was fussy almost the entire hour that they were here. I fed him as soon as they left so I think that he was hungry. He's been eating every two hours these past couple of days. I've read that there's a growth spurt around six weeks so I figure that's what's going on these days. I'm taking him on Thursday to be weighed again. I'm trying to hold out until then. It will have been eight days since he was weighed the last time and that will be the longest that we've gone. Kristy brought by the cutest gift. She'd asked for a sample of the border in his nursery a few months ago so I figured that she was up to something, but this is just precious!


Kristy is so talented! This is a gift that I will cherish forever!

Laura came by yesterday. She brought Freebirds! I had to modify my burrito a tad bit since I'm breastfeeding. I left off the beans, death sauce, tomato, avocado slices, and pico de gallo. I think that the avocado would have been fine, but I just went with sour cream instead. It was so skinny compared to how my Freebird's usually looks! That's okay, the basic taste was still there.

I actually nursed while Laura was here. She's the first person I've nursed in front of other than Lorne, our moms, and lactation consultants. I don't think that I'll ever be able to "whip it out" and nurse anywhere. It would make everything more convenient, but I'm just not ready to do that yet. I don't know if I ever will be. Until then we'll probably just stick with giving him a bottle and me pumping.


Laura had the magic touch with Sawyer and he eventually went to sleep for her.

Denise and Sophia stopped by yesterday to drop off a gift for Sawyer from Jeremy's mom and dad. It was good to see them. I hadn't seen Denise since Sophia was born three weeks ago. I can't get over how much bigger she looks than Sawyer and they're nineteen days apart. I can't wait for Sawyer to get bigger. I know that we're well on our way.


Denise, Sophia, Laura, and Sawyer. Laura will be holding her own little one in November!

Today was much better than the past couple of days. He actually went almost three hours before he ate again a couple of times. I went and had my hair cut and colored today. I almost called to cancel about twenty times because I felt guilty about being away from Sawyer. It worked out really well actually. I got there for my 4:00 appointment and then Lorne came by to pick up Sawyer at 4:30 on his way home from work. I was home by 6:15 but I felt like I was gone forever.

It's hard to believe that Sawyer will be six weeks old tomorrow. I have my postpartum appointment in the morning. We're going to swing by A Mother's Gift and have him weighed again. I'm hoping that he will weigh about 8.5 pounds. I started packing tonight but I will have some more to do tomorrow night. We leave Friday afternoon for our big trip to Van Vleck. I'm still wracking my brain to make sure that I don't forget anything. I'm so excited about the weekend. It will be lots of fun I'm sure.

I'll try to not take so long to post next time but I'm not promsing anything since we'll be going out of town again. Don't worry, I'll have TONS of pictures to post when we return!

I HATE Gas!

We've all heard the phrase, "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans." I've decided that this also applies to newborns! Yesterday was quite a doozie! Sawyer slept from midnight to 4 A.M. and then from 5:00 to 8:00 so that should have been my first clue, but I still didn't see it coming. He was awake from noon to about 11:45 P.M. when Lorne put him to bed. I tried EVERYTHING!! We were bouncing, swinging, vibrating, rocking, and nothing worked. I was exhausted by the time Lorne got home. I'm thinking Sawyer probably was too! I think the main problem was that he was having gas. Everything that I read says that breastfed babies have less gas. If that's the case, I'd hate to be a formula fed baby! He seems to have perpetual gas. I gave him some Mylicon and that helped for a while, but it was only temporary. I can always tell the gas cry from the others because he gets all red and scrunched up, and then of course there's all the pooting. I don't think it's anything that I'm eating either. I'm avoiding alcohol, caffeine, including chocolate, onions, peanuts, corn, and pretty much all vegetables. Lorne and I think that he's going to have gas no matter what I do. I've read that it gets better after two months when their system gets more used to digesting and doing what it's supposed to do. I guess we'll see. Three weeks and counting... :)

He actually slept from midnight to 4:45 this morning. I shot up in bed when I heard him crying on the monitor. I couldn't believe that he made it that long! I could get used to it that's for sure. I just wonder if it means that he'll be up all day again. I know it's important that he keep his days and nights straight, but aren't five week olds supposed to sleep a lot?

Larry and Velma are coming up for Ashley's wedding this weekend. I have done NO cleaning, not one bit! I'm hoping to do some once Lorne gets home from work this evening. He went in early so I'm guessing he'll be home early. Saturday will be our trial run for next weekend when we go to Van Vleck. I've been running it through my mind the whole week and working on my lists! We'll see how it goes!

Anyway, we went to Curves on Tuesday to see the ladies. D'Anna is the owner and she wrote a message on her dry erase board to let everyone know that we were coming. It was good to see D'Anna, Jill, Cindy, Tina, and everyone else. I'm ready to get back to exercising. I have my postpartum appointment next Thursday and I'm hoping to be given the green light for exercising and dieting again. Curves doesn't have child care, though, so I will have to go in the evenings when Lorne gets home. It takes me about forty minutes with drive time and workout time so I'm hoping to feed Sawyer right before I go and then get back home as soon as I can. Weight Watchers has a Mommy and Me class at 9:30 on Wednesdays so I'm going to go to that so Sawyer can come too. My leader Lori also teaches that meeting so it will work out well.

Here are some pictures from Curves:


Jill and Sawyer. The owner, D'Anna, is in the background. She didn't get to hold him because she wasn't feeling well. I'll have to bring him back when she is better.


Jill and Cindy with Sawyer. Jill and Cindy both have two sons of their own.


Tina and Sawyer. Tina and I attend the same Weight Watchers meeting too.

Good report

Sawyer weighs 7 lbs 15.8 ozs! He would have weighed more but he peed on me right before we weighed him! :)

More later,
K

Cassius Clay

Time seems to be flying around here. I looked up today and it was already time for Lorne to be home. I know that all days won't be that way, but the past couple of days have seemed that way. It seemed especially true this weekend.

Saturday Lorne took me to Blue Goose. He said that he thinks Sawyer is having Mexican food withdrawal. I was too. I have never gone this long. The last time I had Mexican food was the day we went in for the induction on June 8th. It's hard to believe that I survived without it. The good thing is that Sawyer didn't seem to have any more gas than he normally does. He seems to me to be a pretty gassy baby.

He also had his first "real" bath on Saturday. He had only gotten spit baths up to this point. He really seemed to like being in the water. His world came crashing down when he had to get dressed again. I envision a naked toddler running around our house once he can undress himself! :)

I had a really hard time deciding which pictures to post so ya'll are going to have to bear with me:


I had to post this picture even though Lorne didn't want me displaying the "jewels." I just love how he's looking at me. This will be a GREAT picture to show his girlfriend when he's seventeen!


This picture is very similar, but I just HAD to post it. Plus it's a PG-13 version.


He looks so content!


We had to rush to get him dressed so that he wouldn't get chilled.


Lorne started calling him Cassius Clay once he saw him in his hooded towel. :)

We finally gave him a pacifier on Sunday. I was agonizing about it. I read everything I could find on the topic. I even called my cousin Lorie and harassed her about it. I am still so afraid that he will have nipple confusion and refuse to nurse. I really need to get over it, but it's just so important to me.

We go back to have him weighed tomorrow. He should have gained one half to one ounce each day. I keep telling myself not to be upset if he hasn't gained as much since he's not getting the supplement. The main thing is that he's not losing again. I'm feeling more and more confident, but I still need to see the numbers.

I was able to cook dinner tonight. That was a welcome change. Sawyer hung out in his bouncy chair while I put the meatloaf together. The bad thing is that was the first time I had put him down all day. He even napped on me. He started to cry each time I put him in the pack n play. I may just have to listen to him cry tomorrow and see what happens. It kills me to do that though.

Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes

It's hard to believe that Sawyer is four weeks old! He's changed so much in these past few weeks. He's started to have more control over his arms and legs. He will let his arms hang by his sides. A few weeks ago he was always all scrunched up and kept his arms close to his face. He's also kicking his legs out and stretching them more and more. He's responding to the sound of our voices and trying to make some kind of eye contact I think. He smiles more and more and I think it's because of gas less and less. I'm posting his four week picture in addition to some other pictures Lorne has taken over the past couple of days:


Sawyer is four weeks old!


He loves hanging out on Daddy.


He's starting to respond when we call his name.


See what I mean?


His feet have a lot of growing to do!


His little feet are so precious!


He loves sticking out that tongue!


What a cutie!


We see this face a lot too.

Sawyer has been eating every two hours or so since we stopped supplementing with the bottle on Wednesday. I'm starting to wonder if maybe it was better to pump each time because I knew for sure that he was getting at least an ounce. I have to build up my confidence and tell myself that he's getting plenty from me. I'm looking forward to Tuesday when we weigh him again. He probably won't gain as much as he's been, though, since we're not pushing the milk like we were. He's still having a 3 oz. bottle at night but that's the only one.

I also feel like I need to find a way to get more than three hours of sleep. Since I'm supposed to pump when Lorne's giving him the bottle I've been staying up with them when normally I go to bed after the 9:00 feeding. That way I was getting about five hours of sleep. Now I'm pumping when I WAS sleeping. I'm thinking that maybe I could nap until 1:00 or so and pump then. I may do a trial run tonight and see how it works. I think that the main thing is to resign myself to the fact that sleep is a thing of the past.

On another note I applied for additional term life insurance a few weeks ago. When I was there the agent said that all I needed to do was take an AIDS test which involved swabbing my cheek in the office. The next thing I know I get a call and I have to give them my entire medical history over the past ten years and the addresses of any doctors who have treated me so that they could get my medical records. Not only that but they needed a blood and urine sample. They said that someone could come to our house, but that I had to fast for six hours. I told them that I was nursing and they said that I could have water. I had them come at 7 A.M. yesterday so that I wouldn't have to go too long without eating. I guess we'll wait for the results. I can't imagine not being approved though. I just wish the agent would have told me up front that it would be more than the cheek swabbing thingie.

I'm so glad that it's the weekend and Lorne will be home. He is such a big help to me! I appreciate him sooo much! He's one great Daddy! He always tells me that I'm doing a good job and that is always great for me to hear. I hope that everyone has a great weekend!

Jackpot Baby!!!

I went and had Sawyer weighed at A Mother's Gift again today. He weighs 7 lbs 7.7 ozs! He's hit the jackpot! Maybe we should go and buy a lottery ticket! That's seven ounces in six days! I also had a "consult" which means that I whipped out the boobs again. We got a good report so it was worth it. After I fed him Candy weighed him and he ate two ounces! She said that he needs to have 2.5 ozs at each feeding to continue to gain weight, so we latched him back on and he ate that last half ounce too. I just have to really watch him and offer it again if he's rooting. Last time he only ate one ounce total so this is a huge improvement in just six days! Not only that, but I don't have to pump after each feeding (WONDERFUL), we only give him the bottle to supplement one nighttime feeding, not every time (THANK GOODNESS), and we don't have to set our alarm during the night to wake him to feed (HALLELUJAH)! I always thought waking a baby who is sleeping soundly was torture, but when we was below birth weight we didn't have much choice. He needs to eat every three hours during the day and should work up to every five hours at night by the age of six weeks. He went five hours last night so maybe he's actually ahead of the game for a change. I don't mean to hate on my son, but it's been a rough couple of weeks. I told Candy today that it's frustrating when I can graduate with a Master's degree with a 3.9 GPA but I can't feed my own son.

I really hope this means that we have turned a corner. I have come so close to quitting four or five times, so now I need to build up my confidence and tell myself that my body will provide the nourishment that he needs. We're going back for another weigh-in on Tuesday so he should gain half an ounce to an ounce daily until then. I'll keep everything crossed with the hope that will happen.

Conrad and Judi came to see Sawyer last night. Lorne works with Conrad. They came to see him in the hospital, but we were in the middle of a feeding so they didn't get to see him. They brought us KFC which was so nice since we didn't have to worry about dinner.


Judi brought a cute little striped outfit for the little man.


This is the beautiful flower arrangement they brought us in the hospital.

Long Time, No Blog

I'm going to try and finish this post, but I'm here by myself so I'm not promising anything. :) First things first. Here is Sawyer's three week picture. I need to ask Lorne if there's a way to rotate it so that everyone can see it better:


His little cheeks and legs are really starting to fill out!


Friday was a busy day for us. Karen and Mr. Ed stopped by on their way home from vacation. They traveled for two weeks all over the western part of the United States and also stayed with some family in Iowa before coming to see us. Sadly, Mr. Ed's brother John was killed in an automobile accident on Sunday. Please keep his family in your thoughts and prayers. They are such wonderful people and have already dealt with so much tragedy in their lives.


He smiled a lot for Karen.


Mr. Ed noticed Sawyer's long fingers. He later told Mom and Dad that he will be a basketball player.

Shortly after they left the solar screen people came. We decided to use part of Lorne's bonus to have them installed. Jeremy and Denise have them and we've noticed how much cooler their house seems. They've also said that it helps with their electric bill. We got them all over the house, but the ones in the front are 80% darkening and the rest of the house is 90% darkening. I'm looking forward to seeing a light bill from a "normal" month when it's just us here to see if its made a difference, but it already seems cooler. We've had a lot of overcast days since they were installed, though, so it seems really dark. It will take some getting used to.


The solar screens really make the house feel cooler.

Uncle Ty, Aunt Jamie, Brittany, Tyler, and Jordan stayed with us this weekend. We mostly hung around the house since I'm on a three-hour time limit with Sawyer. We had a good weekend. Jamie helped me a lot with Sawyer. It was good to see everyone again. We'll see them again in a few weeks at Sawyer's baptism.


Uncle Ty loved talking to baby Sawyer.


Aunt Jamie was a big help this weekend. She fed him almost all of his bottles.


Brittany said it was much easier to change the diapers of the two-year-old she babysits.


Tyler is excited about having a boy cousin on the Smith side.


Jordan did a great job of holding Sawyer.

July 4th was a quiet one until the sun went down. Apparently some of our neighbors don't care that we live in the city limits and that we can sneeze and have our snot land on someone else's house because they were shooting off fireworks until after 11:00 last night. It wouldn't be so bad but Rosie goes CRAZY when she hears them and that wakes up Sawyer. I know Lorne had a tough time on his 9:00-1:30 shift and I had a hard time falling asleep during that time so I'm really tired today. I can't tell you how close I came to walking to the next street over and asking them if they cared that I had a three-week old baby who was trying to sleep. I guess they don't care that Collin county is under a burn ban either. Okay, enough with my ranting!

Laura bought Sawyer a 4th of July Old Navy onesie and bib. I thought that was really neat since I always buy the shirts for us. Apparently I have been buying the wrong size for Lorne for the past few years and didn't realize it. I wanted him to be in the 4th of July picture with the two of us, but I messed up. I will have to remember for next year that the shirts run small and to get him the bigger size.


I wish I'd had Lorne try his on before I washed it. Darnit!


Thank you Laura for the outfit!

Speaking of bibs, we got another Howdy bib in the mail. That's pretty funny considering that I felt so bad about begging for the first one we got. The only thing I can think is that maybe they were going to send us one anyway, or someone accidentally sent one without telling someone else. Either way, now we have two. One to wash, one to wear. What a deal!