I Spoke Too Soon...As Usual

I'm sure most readers have come to this site with the hope of seeing lots and lots of pictures from our busy weekend, but that will unfortunately have to wait. We've hit another speed bump on the breastfeeding road. This post will not be upbeat like my other ones, but I am feeling really, really low right now.

Everything was going so well this weekend. Lorne fed Sawyer two bottles Friday on the ride down and I pumped once we got back on the road each time. It's important for my supply that I keep up with pumping any time that he gets a bottle. Saturday I did the same thing. He got two bottles while we were at Tammy's and I pumped both times. We went to Matthew and Jackie's after that and Sawyer was asleep so we didn't wake him to feed him and he ate when we got back to Van Vleck, over four hours later. Sunday I nursed him at 8:45 before we left for church. Lorne fed him a bottle at 11:00 right before his baptism to tide him over. I didn't have my pump with me and there wasn't really time so I just figured that I'd pump when we got back to the house. It ended up being 1:15 by the time I pumped and I was so engorged that I pumped four ounces, a full ounce more than I have ever pumped. I was excited at the time but later found out that it wasn't a good thing at all. I nursed him for the rest of the day as usual. I always pump between 11-12 and Lorne gives him a bottle. I usually get three ounces. I knew something was terribly wrong when I only got about a fourth of a ounce from the left side. I also pump once in the morning after a feeding on a "normal" day, but we were getting ready to leave so I didn't pump until we were on the road and Sawyer had gotten his first of two bottles. I got even less from that side on those two pumpings. The milk didn't even cover the bottom of the bottle. I started to panic.

I called A Mother's Gift early yesterday morning but Candy was off so I spoke with Hayley. She told me to apply a warm compress before nursing, pump that side for five minutes afterward, and give a supplement if I thought he was still hungry. He seemed to be so I gave him an ounce two different times. She told me that my supply should return by Thursday. He slept for three hour stretches throughout the night and I nursed as usual.

I called again this morning in the hopes that Candy had returned. I left three messages and hadn't heard back from anyone so I went there. I had tears in my eyes when I saw Candy at the counter. I was so happy to see her! She listened intently as I told her about the last few days. She said she thought it wasn't a clogged duct which is what I thought but that my body must have thought I was wanting to wean so it dramatically slowed production.

The good news is that he weighs nine pounds now! The bad news is that he only got a fourth of a ounce from the left side and an ounce from the right when I nursed him. He needs 2.5 ounces to flourish. That means we're back to nursing, pumping, and a supplement from the bottle. How am I supposed to do this all by myself? Not to mention when I pump little to nothing comes out and that is terrifying. I'm having to use the milk in the freezer. I'm just lucky that there is some there otherwise we'd have to go to formula. The neat thing about the weekend is that I never had to go to the freezer for any of his bottles. I just used what I had pumped. It's impossible to do that now.

Candy sold me Fenugreek and Blessed Thissle herbs to take three times a day. I'm also pumping BOTH sides again. The herbs are supposed to jump-start my supply by Friday so we're going back Friday afternoon to nurse and have him weighed again. Candy said that it is very important that I not stress, and anyone who knows me knows that I am ALWAYS stressing over something. I think that this weekend was part of the problem. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every moment, but I was so worried about Saywer the entire time and wanting him to eat as soon as possible. That's just much easier to do when we're at home. Candy said that apparently my body is just really sensitive to big changes in the feeding schedule which is frustrating because we're supposed to get to the point where he goes four hours without feeding. Will that affect my supply too? I guess we'll just have to see.

Needless to say it will probably be the weekend before I get any pictures posted. I would welcome any prayers that you all have for us. I don't think that I have ever prayed for anything more in my life. I never realized how much I enjoy breastfeeding until I started thinking about the thought that it might be coming to an end.