You Just Never Know

We've had quite a week around here and it's only Wednesday. My cat Maggie started vomiting sometime over the weekend. I hate that I can't remember exactly when, but I have this little guy named Sawyer who takes up quite a bit of my time as I'm sure you can imagine. I also noticed Saturday morning that she still had food which I thought was strange since she usually polishes off her half a cup overnight and is soon begging for more if, heaven forbid, she has to wait a few minutes for someone to feed her. I took her to the Wylie vet Monday morning since she was still vomiting. Dr. Welch asked me if she could have ingested something poisonous or otherwise. I told her that I could tell her the last time Sawyer peed, pooped, coughed, or sneezed, but I had no idea about Maggie. I felt so guilty because she has really gone down in the pecking order since Sawyer was born, much like everything and everyone else in my life. I was surprised when Dr. Welch said that she was dehydrated and that they needed to keep her and start her on IV fluids. I just figured she would get a shot like Lorne did once when we had to take him to the emergency room because he wouldn't stop vomiting. It was even more shocking when she called soon after I got home requesting to do some X-rays. She called back to tell me that she found a mass the size of an orange in her abdomen. My body went cold and felt like I was dreaming. How could this have happened? She was just at the vet for her shots on August 31st! She told me that there wasn't anything that I could have done and that she would have taken the same measures with her cats. I started to wonder if the vet could have found anything in August. I took her to the vet in Sachse where I get her groomed. I asked if they could do her shots while they had her and they agreed. I know that I paid for an exam but I don't know how thorough an exam was administered as I wasn't there. I always drop her off in the morning to be groomed and pick her up that afternoon. Dr. Welch said that there was no way of knowing how long it had been growing. She also said that she had to really feel around to find it since she's such a big cat. I just can't believe that she only became symptomatic this weekend.

They couldn't do surgery until yesterday because she was so dehydrated. I was on pins and needles all day. Lorne took the afternoon off so that he could be with me when I got the call. All they would tell me was that they would do the surgery between 12-3 and that they would call me during the surgery to let me know what they found. She told me to "prepare for the worst" so I had imagined every scenario in my mind. They finally called around 2:30 and told me that it was a tumor that was attached to her kidney and that they had removed the kidney and the tumor which they thought appeared cancerous. They recommended having it sent to pathology to ascertain if it is malignant. She said that there appeared to be no metastasis but that she could only look and obviously not see on the cellular level. We have to wait five to seven business days to hear back from pathology.

We went to see her that evening and she was very drugged up. She looked terrible. Her front legs were shaved where they inserted the catheter and IV. There was a square patch shaved off her back for a pain patch. Her pink belly had been completely shaved to the point of baldness. She has a huge incision with crude stitches and was wearing a collar around her neck so that she couldn't remove them. She looked much worse than she did when I brought her in. That tumor and its destruction had been well hidden before but there was no longer any mistaking the hell she had just been through.

The crazy thing about all of this is that her blood work is very misleading and shows that her kidney function is normal. Her white blood cell count is also normal so I am praying that means that there is no cancer. Lorne and I have already talked about the possibility of chemo and decided that we wouldn't do chemo on a cat. I just don't want her to suffer and I don't want to prolong the inevitable either. I know that it will be a horribly difficult decision to make, but as my mother-in-law says I won't "borrow trouble." I'll wait and see what pathology says.

She was acting happier when I went to see her today. She has lost about three pounds, though, and she still isn't eating on her own. They are having to force feed her twice a day to make sure that she can keep it down and so far so good. She may be able to come home tomorrow. I have to call in the morning to see how she did during the night. They also have to decide if she isn't eating for medical reasons or because she wants to go home. They said that some animals will begin to eat once they are back in the comfort of their own homes. I know that I am ready for her to be here again. I keep seeing her in all of her favorite spots: our bed, closet, sunning on the stairs, the back of Rosie's chair, Sawyer's changing table. She even runs her paws under the nursery door from time to time when I'm in there feeding Sawyer. She always sleeps at my left hip so it's been lonely these past couple of nights.

Lorne bought her for me at Post Oak Pets in College Station on March 25, 1998. He had just graduated from A&M and moved to Dallas the previous December. He got her for me so that I wouldn't be lonely. Needless to say she was like my child for over seven years. I love her dearly and want her to get well soon. Mom asked that I put this in perspective and remember that it could be Sawyer or a family member who is sick. I understand where she is coming from but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I just hate that this has happened to her. I have kept all of her records over the years and she had tapeworms when she was a kitten and was spayed and declawed but other than that she has only been to the vet for her yearly shots. This has just come completely out of the blue. Mom is right, I have to enjoy the time that we have left. It could be ten days or ten years, there is really no way of knowing. Such is life. The funny thing is my friend Kristy called to tell me that her daughter Kaitlin Grace had been born that morning. I heard the sound of the Caller ID as we hung up and it was the vet's office calling with the news.

None of us know how long we have to be with those we love. That's why it is so important that we tell our loved ones how we feel about them as often as we can. Life is precious and we only get to live it once.


Lorne took this picture last April right after we bought the camera. She sat on my lap a lot while I was pregnant. It was like she knew.